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Kriza dosla i u moju firmu |
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EFFECTIVE MARCH 1, 2009 NEW OFFICE POLICY
Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin
board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break: (Love this one)
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
Pass this on to all who are still employed!
Klikni da pogledas u stvarnoj velicini
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03-20-2009 14:36 |
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Pipi Duga Carapa
SexNepoznat
Poruka: 2170
Location: Ako nisam u Jazzbini, potrazite me u Pecini
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03-20-2009 14:56 |
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Pipi Duga Carapa
SexNepoznat
Poruka: 2170
Location: Ako nisam u Jazzbini, potrazite me u Pecini
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golemo tita mi.
i kod nas su poostrili kontolu, ali nije tako rigirozno.
ma ode sve u helac ......
Ovdje sve zavisi od firme.
Mi smo recimo finansirani iz drzavnog budzeta, tj od para koje se dobiju od poreza. S obzirom da su smanjili porez, da bi pokrenuli konomju, manje para im dolazi u kasse, pa se ukidaju povlastice.
Sem toga, nase postojanje nije nicim opravdano, jednostavno smo luksuz bogate drzave...
IInace, skinuh onaj post s detaljima, samo jos fale da mi to vide, pa letim k'o jarebica
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03-24-2009 14:44 |
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Pipi Duga Carapa
SexNepoznat
Poruka: 2170
Location: Ako nisam u Jazzbini, potrazite me u Pecini
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03-24-2009 19:42 |
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